As one wedding planner had said, “traditions are simply good ideas that got repeated”. They are not laws. And that’s a good thing. If nothing ever changed, there would be a lot of grooms who would not get to lay eyes on their brides until after the vows were exchanged, brides who would be stolen and kept in hiding until parents and grooms negotiated their ransom or brides who would have their heads shaved for their big day. Fortunately, these customs have faded away and others have taken their places.
The important thing is to realize what customs and traditions matter to you. If one of them makes you uncomfortable, you should ignore it. The same is true of family customs. While you may be reluctant to go against the wishes of family members, be gracious, express your view and if you don’t want to be married in the same location as your parents chose- don’t. This is your wedding. By all means listen respectfully to family members talk about wedding traditions they have known. Select from the suggestions if they feel right and thank folks for the ideas.
Set out to create some new traditions that you like. If you and your finance like to celebrate events with espresso and cheesecake, maybe a coffee bar and dessert table would take the place of a conventional wedding cake at your reception.
Instead of forcing single women at your reception to come forward and “fight” for the remains of your bridal bouquet, maybe you’ll choose to do what one bride did. She had her bouquet made with five smaller bouquets gathered into one held in place with ribbon. At the reception, instead of throwing the bouquet, she untied the ribbon and handed a small bouquet to each of her bridesmaids with her thanks. Or you could hand one of the small bouquets to your mother, the groom’s mother, grandmothers and/or godmothers.